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Archive for the ‘Success’ Category

They Needle Me to Drink

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Dear Jean,

I’m a lawyer and I work with a team of high-strung, deadline-oriented lawyers.  Occasionally, after a long, intense day, we go out together for a drink.  Most of them drink quite a bit.  I don’t drink at all, but I enjoy being with the group.  With holiday parties coming up, I need to know how to keep them from needling me to drink!

Reply:

Just say, “I don’t drink, thanks.”  The next time they needle you to drink, just say, “I don’t drink.”  The next time — repeat it again…..

How to Be a Memorable Leader

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

If you look back over your career, chances are you can identify one or two people who stand out as memorable leaders. Even if these people didn’t hold an official leadership role, their actions and words rallied people together to achieve a common goal. And whether that goal was large or small, far reaching or contained, you remember these leaders for a long time.

While there are many great leaders in the world, not all of them are truly memorable—that is, they don’t leave an impression that lasts beyond their current accomplishment or focus. But being memorable is essential if you want long-term success. So what makes one leader memorable and puts another in the “out of sight, out of mind” category? It comes down to three key elements. Develop these characteristics in yourself and you, too, can be a memorable leader.

Know Who You Are

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” While that’s a little harsh, it does make the point that everyone must examine their life. For what? To pinpoint your “moral compass”—your true values. Memorable leaders know their values, why those values are important, and how those values play out in life.

Realize that you can’t have one set of values in your work life and a different set in your personal life. You take your set of values with you everywhere, and a mess up in one area of life can easily affect another. For example, it was a seemingly personal value that distracted and somewhat derailed Bill Clinton’s career, not a business value, which shows that values are not compartmentalized. So if you don’t examine your life and know what you stand for, you can easily get sidetracked.

Getting to know yourself starts with honesty—with others and yourself. While most people have “cash register” honesty, meaning they’d never steal money from their employer, they aren’t always honest in other ways. Perhaps they tell the world they value one thing, yet display something else. For example, some people will tout the value of hard work and claim they work harder than anyone else. Yet when you really look at their work behaviors, you find that they’re spending most of the day on long conversations that have little to do with work or are surfing the Internet—things that don’t advance the company. That’s not personal honesty or personal awareness.

If you’re having trouble knowing who you are and what you stand for, ask a trusted colleague or family member to give you feedback. You can also opt to do a formal 360-degree feedback assessment, which enables others to give objective insight on how they view you.

Know Your Vision, Communicate It, and Live It

A Harvard Business School professor once said, “The only thing a CEO needs to do is communicate their vision, communicate their vision, and then communicate their vision.” Why is communicating the vision so important? Because if you don’t know where you’re going and tell others where you’re going, then you and everyone around you are going to lose the way. With all the things employees have going on in their lives, they’re distracted during some of the week, so it’s easy for them to get off track. Memorable leaders keep communicating the vision so everyone is always on the same page.

Living your vision and your company’s core values means everyone—those you report to and those who report to you—knows the vision as well. If you don’t understand your company’s vision or core values, have a conversation with your boss about them. Without vision and values, both companies and people lose their way—people are floundering, no one knows what they should be doing, and people hide their potential talent. Not a good situation for sure! For example, in a manufacturing company, getting the product out on time isn’t a core value and has nothing to do with the company’s vision. In order to have a healthy and synergistic team, people need to connect to something bigger than a goal of moving product. Vision and values make the difference.

Also realize that communicating a vision does not mean the leader needs to be talkative. Many memorable leaders are quiet and reserved, such as presidents Truman and Eisenhower. People follow memorable leaders because they exemplify their vision, not just tout it.

Be Teachable

Being open to learning new things and admitting your limitations and your struggles give you power; it’s not a weakness. Realize that people don’t want to think they’re following a robot. They want to know that whoever they’re following is real.

Memorable leaders teach other leaders and are interested in the development of people beneath them. That’s why you need to be in touch with your direct reports and learn their dreams, goals, and career aspirations. As the old quote says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” So the “teachable” part goes in two directions: you have to be willing to learn for yourself and you have to be willing to teach others.

Finally, Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, once said, “Leaders are readers.” That means it’s important you know what’s going on in all industries, not just your own. Staying too focused on one viewpoint of issues makes you one-dimensional. Creativity comes from combining what you know with what other leaders know and then adapting it to your own industry in order to improve or innovate. That’s why “overview” publications like Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Inc. are favorites of memorable leaders.

A Leader for the Ages

While few people are natural born leaders, you can learn to be a memorable leader and have people lining up, asking to work for you. All it takes is a commitment to lead others in a way that reflects your deepest held values, embraces your vision, and encourages lifelong learning. The more you commit to practicing and living these three keys, the more memorable you’ll be.

Back Stabbers

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Dear Jean,

I have a question about trying to deal with people who try to stab you in the back at work.  It’s really hard to deal with back stabbers at work when I’m just trying to do my job.  These people were nice at first, and then I turned around and they were saying terrible things about me and sabotaging me.

Reply:

I hear this more than anything:  “What do I do about backstabbing and sabotage at work when I’m just trying to do my job?”  In her book Woman to Woman 2000, Dr. Judith Briles defines sabotage as “the erosion or destruction of your personal or professional credibility or reputation which can be administered intentionally or unintentionally through overt or covert methods.”  Briles also says that sabotage is not only common in the office, it is increasing at an alarming rate.  Often sabotage takes the form of backstabbing, and it can happen for a multitude of reasons.  The major reason is resentment.

The first thing to do is to find out if this person is out to get you because of a grudge.  Go to the person who is doing the back-stabbing and say, “Do you have a grudge against me?  Is it something I did?  Is there anything we can do to get onto equal ground?  I understand that you’re talking about me.  If there is anything I did to offend you, I need to know what it was, because I don’t want to offend you again.”

I know.  If it were this easy there would be a lot less hostility in the workplace.  But try it.  And then, try it again.  At least you’ll be keeping the channel of communication open.

Know What to Say and What Not to Say During an Interview

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Being gracious, warm, and cordial to the interviewer is great, but being chatty is not acceptable. So when someone asks you a question, answer the question with a brief example of what you’re describing, but don’t give the person a novella. They don’t want to hear your entire history – just the highlights of your work history. Remember that it’s a job interview, not an afternoon tea party.

Whatever you do, never say anything negative about a past employer. It’s a kiss of death for an interview. Even if you were fired from a past job and the incident comes up, don’t say, “My boss was a jerk and fired me because he didn’t know what he was doing. He couldn’t lead his way out of a paper bag.” Instead, stay as positive and likeable as possible. You could say, “Yes, I got fired. Here’s why and here’s what I’ve learned from it.”

Realize that in some cases, being likable is more important than qualification. Companies want people who are likable, who get along well with others, who are creative, and who can learn fast. Show them that you’re that person in everything you say and do.

Thinking of Using a Temp? Know the Company You’re Working With

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Choose a temp service basked on a referral from another business professional you trust, if possible. If you can’t get a referral, then you have to do your own due diligence. Generally speaking, the internal workings of a temporary placement firm vary from place to place. Unless you are working with a franchise, the only way to find out how the firm works is to ask. Therefore, contact some local temporary help companies and ask them such question as:

• How long have you been doing business in the local market?
• Do you belong to any national associations?
• What kind of testing do your temps go through?
• What kind of reference checking do you do?
• What’s your firm’s area of specialization?

Be honest with the company. If you have called other temp services or have had a bad experience in the past, let them know. Also, take into consideration the specialist you speak with. Does the person seem knowledgeable and caring, or is the person just trying to sell you on the idea of working with them? Remember, the person needs to be listening twice as much as they talk. True professionals are interested in getting a feel for your credibility, as you are theirs. Since the goal is to create a long-term relationship, you want to feel comfortable with your main point of contact.

There’s Not Enough to Do

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

Dear Jean,

My boss only has enough work for me to keep me busy from about 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m., but my hours are 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.  So I just sit there for half of the day.  I have asked for more work, but she says there isn’t anything else for me to do.

Reply:

How boring!  You are doing the right thing by asking what to do, but go ahead and start looking for another job.  Sooner or later your boss or your boss’s boss will realize that there is not enough work to keep you or anyone else busy in that job.  Once that fact is realized, your job will be in jeopardy.

If you really love the people you work for, maybe you can work for them in the mornings.  That way you can find yourself another job in the afternoon.  However, if you are a whiz kid and you are doing eight hours of work in two, find yourself another job.  You’re too bright for this one.

No Travel, Please

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

Dear Jean,

I’m in line for a position that is not only a better job, it also pays more.  There is one problem.  I will have to do some traveling – too much, really.  Could I try to stipulate “no travel” when my boss offers me the new job?  How would you handle this, Jean?

Reply:

In most cases, there are legitimate reasons for specific requirements on job descriptions.  When travel is required, it is because the business to be conducted requires you to be in the city where the transaction will take place.  To request “no travel” on a position which requires travel is like requesting, “no keyboarding” on a position which requires computer savvy.

Interview Expectations

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

Dear Jean,

At the end of an interview, people ask if I have any questions.  What kind of questions do they expect?

Reply:

This is a good opportunity for you to get to know your potential boss.  Ask her questions about herself.  Example:  Who was your favorite employee?  What are your biggest challenges for your team this year?  What does “good” look like in this position?  You will get a lot of information about her by the way she answers your questions.

You are on your best behavior in an interview and so is your potential employer.  Plan about three to five good questions.  See if she is patient in answering your questions.  You may get a hint of how she will deal with the process of training you.

Your goal in the interview is to get an offer. Only then can you evaluate if it’s the right position for you.

Looking For a Job

Monday, June 27th, 2011

There are many ways to look for a job.  Networking, online posting sites, newspapers, temporary employment services, outplacement firms, private employment agencies, and state employment agencies are just a few.

In a tough job market, don’t stick with only one avenue.  Use every source you can think of.  The only exception would be if you are working and your search is confidential.  In this case, you will have to be careful not to answer blind ads in the paper, because your boss might have submitted them.  Some bosses are so sneaky; they will run an ad or post a job online that might appeal to you just to see if you are looking for a new job.  When your search is confidential, it is best to contact a reputable employment service; one that has been referred by people you trust.  Make sure the employment service knows your search is confidential.  Print “Confidential Resume of ….” at the top of your resume and also mention the confidentiality of your search in your cover letter.  If you live in Oklahoma, Jacobi Kelley Personnel has an office in OKC and in Tulsa.  Their website is www.jacobikelley.com.

If your search is not confidential, you can take advantage of every possible method of finding your new job.  Be sure to explore all your options.

Kids in the Office

Monday, May 9th, 2011


Dear Jean,

The guy in the office down the hall invites his wife and kids to the office several times a week.  Now my assistant has started to allow her kid to pop in after school once in awhile.  I don’t think spouses and children belong in a working office.  How should I handle this problem, or is it a problem?  Am I simply behind the times?

Reply:

Probably not.  I wonder how we would feel if our dentist allowed his/her children to hang out in the office during a sensitive procedure, or any procedure?  I know this example is a bit dramatic, but it makes the point, doesn’t it?

Because you have no control over the guy down the hall, your best bet is to ignore his wife and children.  Where your assistant is concerned, ask her to stop allowing her child to hang around in the office.  Do it in a straightforward manner.

Please avoid the urge to be self-righteous.  Explain that this behavior is not in her best interest.  It is up to you to set the tone for your own office.  Explain that in most offices, you can go up the ladder a lot faster with the more traditional approach when it comes to visitors.