Dear Jean:

I am a college graduate and I’m desperate to find a job, but I can’t seem to write a decent resume.  What should I do?

Reply:

You are absolutely right to be concerned.  A good resume may be instrumental in determining the rest of your career.  You have three choices.  You can go to the library or a bookstore and get a book; have a resume professionally prepared; or go online to get information.  (I have a new download available at www.getajobkeepajob.com.)

There are many different resume styles.  When you are picking a style, remember one thing:  a resume is not intended to be a sheet of facts about you.  It is intended to be a marketing tool, a brochure, and an opportunity to tell the world how good you are.

Writing your resume is tricky though.  Write it in the third person and omit the pronouns.  For example:  “supervised four data entry clerks,” or “introduced a new purchasing program which saved the company 25 percent.”  This will keep your resume from sounding like:  “I did this.  I did that.  Look at me.  I’m so great.”

If you choose to have your resume professionally designed, picking out a good resume service is almost as important as picking out a good dentist – a wrong decision in either area could result in discomfort.  Some resume services are not creative.  They won’t dig into your past experience or education to help you find things to highlight in your career.  The goal here is to make you look as good as possible while still telling the truth.  If a resume service suggests that you lie about your background, shop around.  A good service will be able to do a good and creative job without lying.

Your Goal:

You want the employer to literally be captured and swept away by your talents.  The response you want to elicit is, “WOW, I want to interview this person”!

Dear Jean:

On my last performance appraisal, my boss told me I need to give recognition to my staff.  I’m not exactly sure what he meant.  I explained that my staff members know perfectly well when they are not up to par.  I don’t have the need or desire to get all mushy and give people standing ovations for doing their jobs correctly. That’s what they get paid to do.

My boss thinks differently, and I can tell you right now that frothy emotional displays are not for me.  How can I do what my boss wants and not compromise my values?

Reply:

If this is really important to your boss, my best advice is to explore a way that fits your values.  In the old yet classic, popular book, The One Minute Manager, we learn to “catch” people doing things right and praise them for it.

I’ll adapt this concept to fit your particular style:

Catch one of your employees doing something above and beyond the call of duty.  Describe the performance or behavior you are recognizing and be clear on why you are recognizing it.  Express your appreciation and then say thank you.  That’s all there is to it.

This will be hard for you at first.  Most likely you and your boss have a different idea about what constitutes “above and beyond the call of duty.”  Be sure to discuss this with him so both of you are in agreement as to which kinds of behaviors you want to recognize.

Remember – the performance that you praise is the performance that will be repeated.

The means of communication is becoming a fast changing media. As a result of our communications becoming more and more advanced, avoiding mistakes becomes more difficult. It is so easy and fast to leave a voice mail or send an email. And with the growing popularity of social media sites, communication pathways are almost endless. Unfortunately, if you make a mistake, you can’t get it back. It’s already there. The recipients have already received it.

As for mistakes, I heard a story about a lady who was sending an email advertisement to thousands of possible customers. She spent a lot of time developing it and finally determined that it was ready. Right after she had sent it directly to all of these people’s email boxes, she noticed a horrible mistake. In huge bold letters at the top of the announcement, instead of saying “Public Auction” it said “Pubic Auction.” She lost her job.

Just remember when it comes to communicating, whether it is a phone call, an email, or social media sites such as Twitter, LinkedIn or Facebook, watch what you say and how you say it. Just as if you were talking to the person directly, you won’t have a chance to take back what you said. Choose your words wisely.

The vast, uncensored mass of the Internet has, in certain areas, linked itself to the lower instincts of many of us.  Pornography on the Internet is a growing concern – and not just for schools.  Internet access at work has allowed employees to bring pornography into the workplace with an ease that is frightening – especially to those who are concerned about the legal ramifications.

In the recent past, we wouldn’t have secretly toted a Playboy or Playgirl magazine to work, much less an X-rated video.  There wasn’t a place for it, and no one would even have thought of it, much less actually have done it.  Now all it takes is the click of a button, even an accidental one, and that type of material is displayed in full color on an employee’s computer screen.  What does this mean for those who are concerned about harassment?

Dear Jean,

A person I work with apparently surfs the Internet in his off time.  He thinks it’s funny to load porn onto my computer.  He even puts these pictures so that they show on my screen in the morning.  Now, I’m a normal guy who thinks that if there is a place for this type of activity, that place is not on my computer.

I have told this guy that I don’t want to see these pictures, but he just laughs.  I am afraid that my supervisor will see one before I can take it off and he will think I put it there.  How can I get this guy to stop?

Reply:

This is not a joke or some kind of male bonding technique.  This is inappropriate behavior in any office.  Try one more time to get him to stop.  Don’t tell him this in passing; have a sit-down meeting at his desk.  Be specific about why you don’t want to be part of his game.  Document the conversation and keep it in a safe place in case you need it.  If he keeps it up, go to your boss.

Dear Jean,

I attend many conventions, conferences, and trade shows where name tags are given to attendees.  I’ve noticed these tags being worn by some on their right side and by others on the left.  Is there a best way to do this?

Reply:

There is not a right or wrong answer to your question.  Most people agree, however, that the name tag works best on your right side.  When people are shaking hands with you they can see your name faster. If they can’t remember your name and have to look at your tag, you’re making it easier for them. They will look a little less conspicuous glancing at your right shoulder than at your left.

When preparing your own name tag, write your name very large.  Everything you do to help people remember your name will aid you in your networking efforts.

If it’s important to you that people remember who you are, be sure to get their contact information.  When you return to your office, send them a short e-mail or a handwritten note. It’s a nice touch.

What’s in it for you? You might be the only person they met who followed up. Following up shows that you are on top of your game.

Dear Jean,

I’m the executive director of a small, not-for-profit organization.  It seems like every day I’m in a position where I’m introducing people to each other.  I know there are rules for proper business introductions.  What are they?

Reply:

Business is becoming more casual these days and I’ve noticed that sometimes in informal situations where people aren’t likely to see one another again, introductions are made with first names only.

The formal way to make introductions is to introduce the lower-ranking person to the higher-ranking person.  It will sound something like this:  “Mark, may I introduce you to our vice president, Julie Falone?  Julie, this is Mark Matrol.  He is our newest sales rep.”  Or, “I’d like to introduce our vice president, Julie Fallone.  Julie, this is Mark Matrol, our newest sales rep.”

As for social introductions, here are those guidelines:

1.  A man is introduced to a woman.

2.  A young person is introduced to an elder.

3.  A less important person is introduced to a more important person.

4.  A commoner is introduced to a queen.

The Winner – is always part of the answer;

The Loser – is always part of the problem;

The Winner – always has a program;

The Loser – always has an excuse;

The Winner – says, “Let me do it for you;”

The Loser – says, “That’s not my job;”

The Winner – sees an answer for every problem;

The Loser – sees a problem for every answer;

The Winner – sees a green near every sand trap;

The Loser – sees two or three sand traps near every green;

The Winner – says, “It may be difficult but it’s possible;”

The Loser – says, “It may be possible but it’s too difficult.”

What can you do today to be a winner?

“Feel the feelings and do it anyway”

~ Susan Jeffers

My colleague betrayed himself.

Jim needs spinal surgery and two hip replacements, but he can’t have surgery until he loses over a hundred pounds. Currently he is physically limited, using a walker.

He wanted to be his old self, but he didn’t want to put in the time and effort. Even spinal stenosis didn’t motivate him. He chose to live according to how he “felt” about his weight, his life and his spinal/physical condition.

When a second surgeon delivered the bad news and added two hip surgeries to the picture, the only feelings he reported having were related to dying, living a painful, drug-involved life in a wheelchair, or living well.

Jim wants to walk again. Not “feeling like” making a radical change brought him to face a cavalcade of events: a dramatic and rapid effort to lose weight in order to have three surgeries to alleviate pain and disability.

All of a sudden, “I don’t feel like it” didn’t matter to Jim. He saw the surgeon on Monday, his wife purged their kitchen on Tuesday, they shopped together for proper foods on Wednesday, and a healthy diabetic eating program began on Thursday. “So much for feelings.”

Because Jim didn’t feel like getting on with a better way of life months and years ago, his left hip will endure the aches and pains of bone crunching on bone until an MRI and surgery are viable options.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how we “feel.” We have to do the next right thing, and the next right thing, and the next……

Click here to read the post from the Wall Street Journal:

While I think that there is truth to this article, I hate to see us labeling an entire generation. Yes, they grew up in the time of plenty but we are the one’s who raised them and the social culture we created, propelled them.  We called the Xer’s slackers, and they grew up to be just fine.

The workplace will change over time to meet the needs of these young people. We always have. There are over 70 million of them so I suspect that very soon employers will find a way to inspire them, keep them engaged, and help them find their full potential.

They’ll be just like the rest of us soon – raising children and having the pressures of day-to-reality. Life will give them a crucible experience just like it did us, and in a few years they’ll be just fine too.

There is a lot of conversation about the difference in leadership and management. And when leadership is mentioned, the work inspire usually comes up. That gives us a picture of a charming and powerful leader.

Having worked in the field of Industrial Psych, I administer needs and strengths evaluations as a part of every coaching assignment. Leaders come in all shapes and sizes. Some managers and even some leaders are just are not able to inspire in the dictionary definition of the word. It’s not that they won’t, they can’t. And that doesn’t mean they won’t develop into good leaders. With self-awareness, and the interest in learning how to build social capital, they can inspire in their own way while being true to who they are.

I work mostly with petroleum engineers, geologists, and financial executives. 

These men and women are straightforward, friendly, and in some cases calm and methodical, and in some cases dynamic. Many don’t have an interest in the persuasive arts. They are direct and just want the job done the best and fastest way possible, yet many have succeeded in executive management where “pulling and guiding” instead of “pushing and controlling” is important. The key is willingness to develop better soft skills.

Non-persuasive leaders and managers can learn to “pull” instead of “push” if they are willing to have an authentic relationship and a true interest in the people they manage. This requires intimacy. To have intimacy with a direct report, they must know their dreams and goals, communicate clearly, often, and demonstrate a desire to help them advance. With that knowledge and a sincere interest in their employee, they can have a huge impact on the bottom line.

John Quincy Adams may have said it best. “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more or become more, you are a leader.