No Respect

Dear Jean,

I have a problem with my boss.  I am coming in to work on time every day; I am working as hard as I can; I am trying to let him see that I take pride in my job, yet I feel that he is showing zero respect for me.  What should I do to get some of that respect?

Reply:

Does he treat everyone with disrespect, or is it just you?

If he treats only you this way, there is probably some miscommunication going on here.  His picture of what he wants you to do may not be your picture of what you’ve been doing.  Make an appointment to discuss your job with him.  Don’t tell him ahead of time what you want to speak to him about.  If he point-blank asks you, tell the truth.  Tell him that the subject you want to discuss is personal.

When you are in front of him, tell him that you would like to feel successful in your job and you don’t.  Ask him specifically what he wants you to do to please him and be of more value.

I must point out, however, that some bosses just aren’t the accepting type.  Some don’t give any strokes at all unless you mess up.  Another problem is that some bosses refuse to be specific.   If that is the case and you can’t deal with ambiguity, better take your skills elsewhere.

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