The following is the second in a series of 10 tips to help you become more promotable in your job.

2. Build your confidence.

Contrary to popular belief, confidence is not about self-esteem or self-worth. In fact, someone can have a low level of self-esteem and still become a high-level executive, as the person’s low self-esteem could be driving them to succeed. True confidence is simply the belief that you can do things well. If you doubt your ability to do things well, simply look back at your record of accomplishment. Use those past successes as a way to build your confidence so it’s apparent to others as well.

The following is the first in a series of 10 tips to help you become more promotable in your job.

Any successful executive will tell you that there’s a game in business. If you’re not willing to play the game, you can’t win at it. So while many people aspire to reach the executive level in their company, they won’t. In fact, most people don’t make it past the $80,000 per year income level simply because they don’t play the game.

Why won’t they play? “I hate business politics,” they say. But who said “business politics” had to be a negative thing? For example, if your boss does something commendable in the company, invents something new, or makes a great speech, it’s okay to congratulate him or her. That’s not being political or a “kiss up”; it’s called being gracious and having decorum – two things that will help you climb the corporate ladder.

Aside from your technical skills or job-specific abilities, other big components of the game include your comportment, how you look, how you speak, your attitude, and your daily habits.

1. Claim your space.

When you’re walking in the office, you need to look purposeful and centered. Scurrying, looking harried, or trying to blend into the background will make you appear as though you lack confidence. Instead, walk with your full height and claim the space around you. People need to view you as someone on a mission – a mission to the top.

Dear Jean,

I have been accused of not listening.  My employees, my husband and my children all think I don’t listen to them.  Granted, I’m pretty intense most of the time, and it is true that once in awhile I don’t completely understand what they’ve said.  I’m not even sure I want to do a great deal more listening.  I have made it this far to “senior management,” so why do I have to change?

Reply:

You don’t have to change, unless you want a smoother, less complicated life and a long-term career.  Because you have the courage to write, I feel that you are ready to make some positive changes in your listening style (I didn’t say changes in your personality).

Unless you make it a priority to hear and fully understand people, you won’t be able to do it.  Make sure that you are in the frame of mind to listen.  If you are faking it, your nonverbal communication will give you away.  If you respond so quickly that you step on their last word, you will not have processed the whole meaning of what they have said.

To make sure they know you heard them, count to three before you respond.  Listen for the facts and the body language associated with the message, then paraphrase what they just told you to confirm that you understand what they are thinking, feeling and saying.

Dear Jean,

One of my co-workers always wants me to lie when certain people call her on the phone.  Is this right?  Should I continue to lie?

Reply:

You don’t have to lie for anyone, and if the “certain people” you spoke of in your question happen to be supervisors, you could be in serious trouble.  Before another day goes by, meet with her in private and explain your feelings.  Avoid judging her behavior.  Just say something such as, “When I mislead your callers, I feel uncomfortable, and I’m not willing to put myself in that position any longer.”  This will reduce your stress and make it clear to your co-worker that lying for her crosses your value system and you won’t continue to do it.

Dear Jean,

What are the signs and symptoms when it’s time to move on to another position, or even another company?

Reply:

When you are not getting most of your needs met or when your personal boundaries are being violated.

I have been involved in the “find a job” strategies of more than 20,000 people.  People leave because they are not getting their needs met.  Well over half the time, the problem lies in the relationship between the employee and supervisor.  The comments I hear most are:  “We just don’t communicate,” “I can’t seem to please my boss,” or “The morale around there is the pits.”

Other reasons include:  no way to learn anything new, passed over for promotion more than once, troublemaker in the department, no challenge, new boss with radically different philosophy, too many hours of overtime, and frozen salary.  It is rare, though, for a person to leave because of salary alone.

A word of caution:  Occasionally, career problems are brought on by the person considering the change.  A rule of thumb is if you had the same or a similar problem in your last position, it could be you.  So before you take that “geographical cure,” make an honest appraisal of yourself.  Bounce it off someone who will tell you the truth, and see if there is anything you are doing to make your situation worse.  If so, change your behavior.  If not, update your resume.