Dear Jean,

At the end of an interview, people ask if I have any questions.  What kind of questions do they expect?

Reply:

This is a good opportunity for you to get to know your potential boss.  Ask her questions about herself.  Example:  Who was your favorite employee?  What are your biggest challenges for your team this year?  What does “good” look like in this position?  You will get a lot of information about her by the way she answers your questions.

You are on your best behavior in an interview and so is your potential employer.  Plan about three to five good questions.  See if she is patient in answering your questions.  You may get a hint of how she will deal with the process of training you.

Your goal in the interview is to get an offer. Only then can you evaluate if it’s the right position for you.

Dear Jean,

One of my co-workers always wants me to lie when certain people call her on the phone.  Is this right?  Should I continue to lie?

Reply:

You don’t have to lie for anyone, and if the “certain people” you spoke of in your question happen to be supervisors, you could be in serious trouble.  Before another day goes by, meet with her in private and explain your feelings.  Avoid judging her behavior.  Just say something such as, “When I mislead your callers, I feel uncomfortable, and I’m not willing to put myself in that position any longer.”  This will reduce your stress and make it clear to your co-worker that lying for her crosses your value system and you won’t continue to do it.

To be a good boss, you need certain qualities. There are many opinions of what makes a good leader. I believe that leaders are made, not born. Good leaders have these qualities:

• Heart and integrity

• The ability to follow as well as lead

• Vision

• Consistency

• The desire to teach, to coach, and to watch people grow

• A willingness to set boundaries

• A willingness to hire people who are not like themselves

What wisdom can you find that is greater
than kindness? –Jean Jacques Rousseau

Of all the special moments, of all the skills taught and insights shared, what people will remember about you is how you make them feel. Often I ask people to tell me about their favorite relative, someone they feel especially close to — everyone seems to have a relative like that. Then I ask them to explain what it is about that particular relative that pleases them. What I almost always hear is some variation of “He is so nice.” Not once have I heard, “She is so wise.”

My experience in life and in business leads me to one conclusion. The old axiom is true: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.