No Travel, Please

Dear Jean,

I’m in line for a position that is not only a better job, it also pays more.  There is one problem.  I will have to do some traveling – too much, really.  Could I try to stipulate “no travel” when my boss offers me the new job?  How would you handle this, Jean?

Reply:

In most cases, there are legitimate reasons for specific requirements on job descriptions.  When travel is required, it is because the business to be conducted requires you to be in the city where the transaction will take place.  To request “no travel” on a position which requires travel is like requesting, “no keyboarding” on a position which requires computer savvy.

You Don’t Have to Lie

Dear Jean,

One of my co-workers always wants me to lie when certain people call her on the phone.  Is this right?  Should I continue to lie?

Reply:

You don’t have to lie for anyone, and if the “certain people” you spoke of in your question happen to be supervisors, you could be in serious trouble.  Before another day goes by, meet with her in private and explain your feelings.  Avoid judging her behavior.  Just say something such as, “When I mislead your callers, I feel uncomfortable, and I’m not willing to put myself in that position any longer.”  This will reduce your stress and make it clear to your co-worker that lying for her crosses your value system and you won’t continue to do it.

Kids in the Office


Dear Jean,

The guy in the office down the hall invites his wife and kids to the office several times a week.  Now my assistant has started to allow her kid to pop in after school once in awhile.  I don’t think spouses and children belong in a working office.  How should I handle this problem, or is it a problem?  Am I simply behind the times?

Reply:

Probably not.  I wonder how we would feel if our dentist allowed his/her children to hang out in the office during a sensitive procedure, or any procedure?  I know this example is a bit dramatic, but it makes the point, doesn’t it?

Because you have no control over the guy down the hall, your best bet is to ignore his wife and children.  Where your assistant is concerned, ask her to stop allowing her child to hang around in the office.  Do it in a straightforward manner.

Please avoid the urge to be self-righteous.  Explain that this behavior is not in her best interest.  It is up to you to set the tone for your own office.  Explain that in most offices, you can go up the ladder a lot faster with the more traditional approach when it comes to visitors.

I’m Shy at Social Gatherings

Dear Jean,

I have a real problem in social gatherings.  I’m really outgoing until I get to a big party.  I seem to do better at small gatherings.  I’m extremely comfortable in a one-on-one situation.  Is there anything I can do to relieve this nervousness in groups?

Reply:

I feel the same way in groups of people I don’t know.  Once in awhile, I still end up in a corner talking to people I know rather than meeting new people.  A party at my own office is a breeze.  On my own territory, I know exactly what I want to gain from having the party.

The answer to your question lies in your reason for being at the party.  Be clear with yourself.  What is your goal? Are there people you want to meet?  Is this purely networking for business, or are you networking for social reasons as well?  Having a goal will help you walk into a room of mostly strangers.

My goal for a business party is usually quite simple – to make contact with two new people.  After I’ve reached my goal, it’s time to relax.  It’s important to me that the people I’ve met remember who I am and what I do, so when I return to my office, I send them a handwritten note with my business card.

How To Be The Star

Dear Jean,

I’m a salesperson with a national firm.  I do pretty well, but the woman they call their “star” salesperson is making me crazy.  She gets all kind of privileges and she looks trashy.  Jean, I always wear a stylish suit or dress and I am careful about my makeup, hair, nails, etc.  For some reason, I sure don’t get a trip to Bermuda.  What should I do?  Shorten my skirts and lower my neckline?

Reply:

I’m assuming that she earned those trips to Bermuda by winning contests.  Something I read recently said that we all wear a pair of magic magnifying glasses.  When we look at something, whatever we focus on increases.  If we look at the problem, the problem increases.  If we look at the solution, the solution increases.

My best advice to you is to look at the solution.  What is it you could be doing to increase your personal production?  Do you need to make more calls?  Do you need a refresher on closing the sale?  Do you qualify your prospects properly?  Do you have excellent time-management skills?  If she can be the national sales star, so can you.  Don’t spend any more time thinking about her.  She is living in your head rent-free.